Whose Line Is It Anyway?
by bornfreeeee
Summary: The cast of Fullmetal Alchemist plays Whose Line Is It Anyway? Hosted by none other then Alexa! Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anything else that may be present in this fanfic. Rated for language and content.


Alexa: Hey everybody. Welcome to Whose Line Is It Anyway? Tonight... He's incredibly small - Edward Elric!

Ed: I'm not short! -spazz-

Alexa: It's the bodiless boy - Alphonse Elric!

Al: -waves-

Alexa: She scares the shit outta you and me - Riza Hawkeye!

Riza: ...

Alexa: He does nothing all day long - Roy Mustang!

Roy: -smirk-

Alexa: And I'm your host Alexa! So come on down and let's have some fun! -walks down to desk and sits- Welcome, welcome... This is Whose Line Is It Anyway? The show where everything's scripted and the points _do_ matter!

Alexa: Tonight we shall start off with... Let's Make A Date! How this game works Roy, Al, and Ed are contestants on a dating game show. But, they are each given a personality to portray. Riza will have to guess who they are and... date them! -snort-

Alexa: Ok? OK! Start when you guys are ready...

Riza: Contestant number one...

Ed: WHAT?! -grr-

Riza: ...

Ed: Whaaa! I'm sorry! Please forgive me! -begging on hands & knees-

Riza: Contestant number one, where would you take me on our first date?

Ed: A date? A Date?! You expect me to fit in a booth let alone a dress with this -points to stomach- inside me?!?

Riza: ...yes?

Ed: WELL FUCK YOU!

Riza: ... Contestant number two...

Al: -looks to his left- Eeeeee! -fan girl squee-

Riza: Same question.

Al: -stands in front of Roy- Um... excuse me... Are... -giggle fit- Are you Roy Mustang? _The_ Roy Mustang?

Roy: -blink- -stare-

Al: Ahhhhh! -glomps Roy-

Roy: o.O -shoves-

Riza: -blinks- Contestant number three...

Roy: -poses-

Riza: Would you give me flowers or chocolate on our first date?

Roy: -new pose- Well, I'd have to say... Um, excuse me! I wasn't ready yet! -talking to camera-

Riza: Contestant number three?

Roy: What did I just tell you?! Get that fuckin' camera outta my face! -smashes camera lens-

Al: -jumping up and down- Squee!

Ed: Oh gawd! Oh gawd! -hand/stomach- Nghhh!

Riza: ...

Al: Mr. Mustang, can I have your autograph?

Roy: -mistakes Al for camera and knocks out-

Al: H- He touched me! -sigh- -faint-

Ed: Ahhh! Oh! My! God!

Alexa: -buzz- -buzz- -buzzzzzz-

Alexa: Riza, who are these people? o.O

Riza: Contestant number one, Edward, is a highly pregnant woman about to go into labor.

Alexa: Whoa! Right on the mark!

Riza: Contestant number two, Alphonse, is Roy's biggest fan.

Alexa: Well, I suppose anyone could've guessed that. And Roy...?

Riza: Contestant number three, Roy, is a professional model who is pissed off at her photographers.

Alexa: -.- uh... Correct.

Roy/Riza/Ed/Al: -take seats-

Alexa: Alrighty, Roy - 100 points! Al - 1000 points! Ed - 100 points! and Riza -pause- .2835 points. -glare-

Alexa: Hokey-poke. Next issss -drawls out s- Bartender! Al is a bartender. Roy and Ed later come in and sing their problems to Al.

Alexa: First up... Roy! Roy's problem is...

Random Audience Member: NO HOTT CHICKS!

Roy: o.o

Alexa: heheh Perfect. Oh! Before I forget... Playing the piano for us tonight is none other than... Amy Lee! (Because I can't think of anyone else who can play the piano right now. -tear-)

Amy: -walks to piano smiling and waving-

Audience: -silent-

Amy: -pout-

Angel: WAIT A SECOND! Not Amy Lee! -suddenly appears on stage-

Amy: o.O -pulled away by that monster thing in Star Wars six- -mauled- -killed- -dead-

Angel: Presenting our new pianist! Vic Mignogna!

Audience: -stands and cheers-

Vic: -walks out and sits at piano-

Alexa: Whoo, thanks Angel.

Angel: -bows and runs off stage-

Audience: -standing and cheering-

Alexa: Ok... ok...

Audience: -still standing and cheering...-

Alexa: SHUT UP! -grr-

Audience: o.o -sits and shuts up-

Alexa: n.n

Alexa: OK! Roy, Al, Vic... Start when ever you're ready...

Roy: -walks up to bar-

Al: What can I get 'cha?

Roy: -sniff-

Al: You ok?

-cue music-

Roy: -singing badly- Everywhere the girls are pregnant, or worse yet, they have facial hair. And this one important question, where? Where have all the _hott_ chicks gone, oh where?

Roy: To be flat out honest, I really need some action. So maybe I'll go gay? My life is over, over damn it! If I need a guy to get a quick lay...

Al: -singing- I'm sorry to break the news to you, but someone knew you were coming here. They warned all the fathers before you arrived. They deported their daughters in abject fear.

Al: Bisexuality is the way to go. You could have anyone you desire. Havoc's been lusting after you for years, and you've really lit _my_ fire. -wink and twitches hips-

Alexa: o.o O.o o.O o.o

Audience: o.o O.o o.O o.o

Vic: -stops playing piano- -grabs the magically appeared glass of water- -takes sip- -spits out like they do in the movies- o.O o.o

Roy: -blink- -takes seat-

Alexa: Um... Wow.

Al: ...

Alexa: Ed, your turn. Ed's problem is...

Audience Member: INVASION OF UDDER EXPLODING COWS!

Ed: o.o -gags-

Alexa: -rofl- Ed, start whenever you're ready...

Al: Welcome, care for a drink?

Ed: D- Does it have milk in it?

Al: Not that I know of. Why?

Ed: Well...

-cue music-

Ed: -singing- When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city, and into a store. He said son when you grow up would you be the leader of the broken, the beaten and the cows?

Ed: He said will you defeat them their udders, for they tend to explode. Because one day they'll go - Kaboom! To cover you in sticky and chunky milk.

Al: -singing- When you were a young boy, your father took you into a store and told you a story. He told you the one called "Invasion of Udder Exploding Cows."

Al: And now that you've heard it, you cower in fear. Because one day they'll explode, and cover you in sticky and chunky milk...

Alexa: -buzzzzzz-

Ed/Al: -takes seats-

Alexa: Well, that wasn't _so_ bad... I guess...

Alexa: And once again... Vic Mignogna everybody!

Vic: -stands, bows, leaves-

Alexa: So let's see... Roy - 1008 points! Al - 1005 points! Ed - 500.2 points!

Ed: What?!

Alexa: ALRIGHT! We'll be right back, so don't go away!

Ed: -spazz- -chases Alexa-

Alexa: -hides in magically shielded well under desk-


End file.
